ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
