Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
