guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
