More tranny stories later!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
