I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest