I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?