We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Michael Bay diarrhea
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
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Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.