I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.