Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
