I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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