are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
