Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm really busy with my period
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