we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
