That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
