"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
