You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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