every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
