Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No subtext here. People are naked.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize