Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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