I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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