I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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