Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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