You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
