Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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