genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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