Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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