they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
