On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
