I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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