I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
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ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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