You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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