she woke up with a sticky ear
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize