so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
