how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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