apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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