Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
birth control should be required to get into college
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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