Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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