dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry about my life...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
