she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
