I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize