wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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