I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
smell my finger.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
