you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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