What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
