Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
