You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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