I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
