Your face is a jimmy john
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
