it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
