Grow some girl-balls and come out already
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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