Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
