How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
