Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
