I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
