Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
