oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
