is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I supernannyed him into submission
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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