I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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