Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth