Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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