i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
