I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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