After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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