Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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