That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
