My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
