Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
