I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
